SCREW Kellogg’s


Okay, so Michael Phelps was caught in what to most of us would be an embarrassing but not life-altering situation, sucking on a bong filled with an UNDISCLOSED substance (of course, the inference was that it contained pot) and the take no prisoners national media made Phelps its latest tabloid tragedy.

So today, the AP divulges that Phelps never actually ADMITTED that the bowl of the pictured bong indeed held herb. Too bad for Michael that the arbiter of healthy food and habits, the pinnacle of nutrition and well-being, the corporate grain molester and cereal  giant/tight-ass Phelps sponsor Kellogg,  manufacturer of heavily-processed, vitamin-enriched, chemical-laced and high-fructose corn syrup-laden products potent enough to destroy any otherwise healthy diet deems Phelps no longer an appropriate spokesperson.


Like Kellogg’s doesn’t know that much of the junk food they pass off as nutrition is totally off the hook to stoners when they’re baked?  And further,  when you’re stoned, this crap actually tastes GOOD–you may eat the whole BOX?

You think they’d be more market savvy than that.  What self-respecting  stoner can resist the call of the Toucan? The NERVE of these “nutrition Nazis.”

So screw Kellog and its puffs squares, meals and bran concoctions. To hell with its granola.  cereal bars, snack foods, cookies and all manner of poison it markets as healthy food.

As for “Special K,” you know where they can stick that–right up Rush Limbaugh’s fat ass. If I want cereal, there are plenty of options.  And when pressed for for fiber, there’s always small twigs.


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5 Responses to SCREW Kellogg’s

  1. Ian Pelton says:

    Before the war between the states there was Uncle Tom. He was a man who was looked down upon because he followed the “man’s” rules. In the 60’s it became a term of derision. I would like to coin a new term for somebody who in a private moment would turn on his fellow partier (sic). The guy who betrayed Phelps should be called “Uncle Dude” and be shunned in the same way as blacks would shun an ‘Uncle Tom”.

  2. Paul Sonderman says:

    True that. Like I said, though, pot can make you careless and being young, Phelps was just letting go, one must assume. Like none of us ever did, right? But camera phones weren’t around then and we didn’t have endorsements to protect from companies like Kellogg’s. I suppose with privilege comes responsibility and based on that, Phelps can be scorned for being careless. I still think we all need to lighten up a bit. (But I also think pot should be legal). Thanks, Ian.

  3. mike kurtz says:

    you know, i haven’t bought a box of cereal, other than oatmeal ,since the kids left home. overpriced, boxes half full of product, preservatives. etc,
    most of these companies remove the good part of the food and replace it with their own concoctions, it seems.
    michael p. is set for life , whatever he does, michael joins the rest of us with skeleton’s in our closets.

  4. llabesab says:

    I just switched from Wheaties to Kellogs. An analysis of the ingredients of the two cereals will reveal that Kellogs has much more Testosterone, as in “balls.”

  5. Paul Sonderman says:

    Funny… I think they both taste like crap but I do like me some Honey Bunches of Oats.

    Thanks for your contribution.

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