Whoopi to Glenn Beck: You’re a Lying Sack of Dog Mess!

Up in Beck's Grille: You Go, Girl!

Up in Beck's Grille: You Go, Girl!

Every time I mow my lawn I run over countless organisms of higher purpose and intellect than Glenn Beck.  I once noticed one in my wake a row over.  It was small and furry. I thought it a mouse, but it wasn’t.  I never figured out what it was but it appeared mammalian.  Being lifeless, I offered a quick prayer, crossed myself and tossed it into the bushes.

As a Democrat Socialist, as much as I enjoy killing small, furry animals, I have to occasionally put it aside to scheme with my comrades as we plan the ultimate demise of democracy and transition to full-blown communism (I know they’re not the same, but the GOP fails to make the distinction, so why bother explaining it?)

I take comfort knowing that Glenn Beck is there to clarify such mundane details. Through Glenn’s, eyes (a window to his –and GOD’s–soul) I find the glory.  Dear Glenn…sweet, sensitive Glenn.

But Beck has his detractors.  Go figure.  Take Whoopi Goldberg.  (No one else wants her).   How dare such a washed-up, has-been malign such a magnanimous human being as Mr. Beck?  It’s like pissing on St. Peter’s sandal.  You will atone, Whoopi.  Some day, you will regret–you WILL atone!

PS:  Note to Mr. Beck- I mow my lawn every Thursday, am typically in a hurry and although I wouldn’t stop, even if I saw your lacerated gimp-ass writhing the next row over, I’d run inside to get some salt for your wounds.

Ohhh, that sounds hateful.  I may have as you said in air quotes of Nancy Pelosi, “misspoken!”  Now see what you made me do?  I have to go to confession!  Drat!

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5 Responses to Whoopi to Glenn Beck: You’re a Lying Sack of Dog Mess!

  1. kcebnelg says:

    Uh, sorry you lose. The liars are Goldberg and Walters. TRY READING THE TRANSCRIPT AND REVIEWING THE TAPE. Beck never said ANYTHING about WALTERS COMING OVER TO HIM.

    The TIVO doesn’t lie. Only Walters and Whoopi do. Fact check? Maybe Walters ought to do some freaking fact checking.

    You can start at the transcript if you’d like:


  2. Paul Sonderman says:

    You can’t be serious… If you are, please accept my deepest sympathy!

  3. bchboy1 says:

    I don’t really see eye to eye with Glenn Beck. I don’t have to. The fact that FOX places his commentary during somewhat prime newstime is a ratings boon for the network. He is in no way a reporter…he can comment as much as he likes. I choose not to listen.

  4. kcebnelg says:

    Paul – DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO THE TAPE? Apparently, not.

    So I’ll say it a little s l o w e r for you so you can understand. In the tape they showed of Glen Beck on his show that they so proudly displayed, D I D G L E N S A Y A N Y T H I N G
    A B O U T W A L T E R S C O M I N G O V E R T O H I M ?

    NO… and I don’t need your sympathy, only your willingness to admit the truth.

  5. Paul Sonderman says:


    This exchange is as backwards as your screen name. BTW, Beck uses 2 “n”s (Glenn).

    No need to be condescending. I didn’t infer that you were stupid. I extended my sympathy because you see fit to defend the likes of “Round Mouth”; sympathy you may need more than you realize.

    To answer your question, yes, I watched repeatedly.
    Now, take a deep breath.
    1.) Re-read what I wrote

    I didn’t argue specifics of the exchange in ANY way. I wrote a hyperbolic piece based on Beck’s affinity to “stir the pot”.

    Again, re-read what I wrote. Where did I lie? I used metaphors, similes and hyperbole to address the phenomenon behind his appeal and my negative visceral reaction.

    2.) Review what you wrote. Again, compare it with what I wrote. Where’s the argument?

    If you’re happy to watch and listen to “Round Mouth,” may God be with you and yours. You clearly have considerable company. He’s quite popular.

    I’d rather accidentally kill small, furry animals (mow my lawn).

    I’m happy to argue statements I actually make. Present some and we’ll have a go. Until then, stick to your TIVO and leave me alone.

    Thanks for commenting, though.

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